Shifting Goals For The Journey That Lies Ahead

I feel like my mindset is slowly starting to change when it comes to my financial future, and this in turn is making me rethink my goals.

I’ve learned some basics about investing. I understand how to project these investments into the future. I understand how to calculate my Financial Independence number… and it turns out I’ve got a long way to go.

So, ever since I found out about Financial Independence, questions like the following would pop into my head regarding future goals:

• How do I hurry up the process and reach Financial Independence sooner?
• Can I at least make the time feel like it’s passing by faster?
• Why don’t I just invest a little more every year… or month… Or week?
• Can a bigger portion of my savings account be invested?
• Should we downsize to a less expensive house or apartment?
• Should I look for a higher paying job?

These are also questions I’ve heard discussed in the Financial Independence community, especially for people who got started a little later or have a lower paying job. It is fun to think about Financial Independence, but it can be a bit much and perhaps off-putting to talk about, and it can be easy to become a little too obsessed with numbers.

It is fun to hear about people who have successfully navigated through accumulating enough to live on. It’s fun to imagine myself in their shoes. But I’m not them. I have my own path.

Focusing On What Matters

I’ve realized that focusing on goals is great, but I need to pay way more attention to what kind of goals I’m setting and reflecting on. Sometimes when I’m talking with my wife or I’m in a planning mood, I like to think about future plans, and I’ve previously focused too much on reaching Financial Independence.

I’ve grown to realize that FI isn’t something that I want to achieve, but rather it is a tool that will help us transition into a new phase of life. Exact financial numbers don’t matter as much as discussing what the next several transitions and phases of our life will look like, and how my wife and I can plan it together.

I’m also trying to be more present with what is currently happening in my life, and I’m trying to focus on relationships with friends and family. When I try to focus on this part of my life, it isn’t too difficult. I get a lot out of relationships, and it’s important to acknowledge that. I’m forcing myself to just stop and enjoy more moments of life. No matter if I’m feeling stressed or in a good mood, it’s important to center myself in this way so that I’m not just looking forward, but enjoying the journey along the way.

New Goals Developing

So, how are my goals shifting? I’m still working it out, but sometimes I like to think of the next steps in my life, and sometimes I like to think how my life might end, and work backwards from there to where it is now, and how I might get there. As I think with my wife about our future, I look forward to planning and tackling decades of fun together. I think the more we discuss what’s in store for us, and continue to take on fun activities with each other and with others, we’ll be able to take advantage of our situation of (eventually) becoming financially independent and make more decisions about what the rest of our lives look like. Here are some questions I’ve started to develop to think about real goals that might be easier to discuss with my wife going forward. Each of these could be expanded quite a bit, but included are just starting points.

• If I can’t take care of myself at the end of my life, who would I like to take care of me, and where would I like to be?  I don’t want my family having to take me to the bathroom and feed me. Sure they can visit me, but I don’t need them taking care of me. It might be worth setting some money aside for long-term care.
• What kind of activities would I like to do if I can’t get around much?  If I can’t do some of the activities I currently enjoy, it would be great to have some other things to look forward to. If pickleball is my favorite and only thing I like to do, and an injury prevents me from playing any more, I want to make sure I have other fun activities to look forward to.
• What kind of a place would my wife and I like to live if we can’t keep up the maintenance of our place?  We can always hire out help for maintenance and/or yard work if we own a house or a condo, but it’s worth considering different options. Could we envision living in a large apartment complex with a pool and weight room where we can connect with others? Would a retirement community be enjoyable? If our kids move, do we want to follow them and potential grandkids, and join a new community?
• How am I going to make sure I stay physically active? This is really important that when we retire my wife and I stay active. If this means moving to a more accessible neighborhood or committing to regular walks or hikes together, or meeting up with friends at fitness centers, this will need to be a focus in our lives.
• How am I going to make sure I stay mentally active? It is so easy to watch sports and stay home alone. Not making social connections is easy peasy. However, I think staying connected to others, working on writing, journaling, and joining a group or two would bring a lot of meaning and joy to our lives. I’m sure it will take a little while, but I can see both my wife and I spending some time helping and connecting with others.
• Where do we want to live when the kids leave the house? We spend a lot of time as a family with each other. There will inevitably be a period of time in high school, maybe college, and maybe beyond where one or both kids will not have much time to spend with me and my wife. We should probably think about this big change in our lives, and figure out what we want to focus on with us and others. We love our house, but we don’t feel attached to it. What are other options? This is both an important psychological and financial question. 
• How long do we want to work? Before we become financially independent, do one or both of us want to reduce hours, or even leave our jobs? Do we want to look for different jobs? Or maybe we’ll both love our jobs even more than we do now, and want to stick with them.
• What besides work do we enjoy doing that doesn’t involve travel? I’d love for us to take a few weeks off in a row and NOT travel. I think we could learn a lot about ourselves and maybe even think differently about retirement.
• How can we best teach, learn from, and make memories with our kids? Even though our kids are only (already) 10 and 8, we can feel time with them slipping away. We all get along right now for the most part, so we need to make sure to capitalize the time we have with them before they think about leaving the house, and/or don’t want to spend time with us. I’m already talking about upcoming trips and experiences in the next several summers.
• How can we ensure we spend more time with our parents? My wife’s and my parents live nearby, and we want to continue to spend a good amount of quality time with them, along with making sure they get to take on fun activities with our kids. We anticipate our parents living for a long time, but we’re trying to meet up on a regular basis… maybe even dropping the kids off for a date night every now and then.
• Can we try to spend more time enjoying, or at least appreciating the present? Like I mentioned before, this is something that I’m trying to focus on. If all we do is think about the future, life will fly by without us realizing it. I would like to at least try to stop from time to time and smell the roses.

I think framing the future in goal-related questions has got me more excited about looking at life through a different lens than just strictly thinking about being Pre-FI and Post-FI. Most of the answers we come up with will have money decisions associated with them, but I think talking through all the fun things we get to do will bring about a sense of adventure and a desire to get started.

I look forward to spending more time enjoying the here and now. It will also be fun talking about and taking part in the journey that lays ahead for my wife and me.

Reader Questions

• Have you changed the way you set goals?

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