Advice To Our Younger Selves
With each passing year comes additional knowledge and lessons-learned. If we’re lucky, sometimes we can learn these lessons from others or by doing our own research (i.e. reading books, listening to podcasts, etc). However, we’ve found that both of us learn best from our own life experiences; actually being in particular situations makes these lessons more “sticky”.
So what kind of information do we wish we had known earlier in life? Read on to find out some of the advice we’d personally give to our younger selves…
Scout
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I’ve also made many good decisions. At the end of the day I probably wouldn’t change anything though because my entire past, whether good or bad, has led me to exactly where I am today. Having said that, here is the advice I would share with my younger self or with anyone who is just beginning their journey through life.
- Work hard… This may seem obvious, but it’s always a worthwhile reminder that nothing great in life comes for free. Yes, in rare cases luck may be involved, but the majority of the time hard work is the key to success. I’ve never claimed to be the smartest person in the room (although that would be really cool), but I’ll out work most anyone else when it comes to something I believe in or if there’s a specific goal I want to achieve. In my own life, some examples have been getting good grades in school, burning the midnight oil during my working career, and then ultimately reaching Financial Independence & advancing to early retirement. I would definitely encourage my younger self to work hard in order to achieve great things in life.
- … But make time for other things. I’ve always taken great pride in keeping my nose to the grindstone in order to get things done, but didn’t realize until much later in life that this sort of work ethic comes with very steep tradeoffs. At the expense of accomplishing goals and working hard, I missed out on a lot of things over the years – I didn’t have time to cultivate many lasting friendships, I missed spending time with my kids when they were really young, and I never developed any real hobbies, interests, or leisurely pursuits. Now that I’m retired, I’m desperately trying to make up for lost time by strengthening existing relationships while forming new ones, spending as much time with family as I can, and experimenting with various activities. I would encourage my younger self to still work hard, but also find time to stop & smell the roses on occasion.
- Everything is temporary. This piece of advice is a double-edged sword that cuts in both a positive and a negative direction. Sometimes life is tough either by choice (i.e. intentionally working hard to achieve goals) or by chance (i.e. health crisis, job loss, relationship issues, etc). In either case, the majority of these rough periods are transitory in nature and will not last forever, although in the moment it may feel like they’ll never end. Keeping in mind that the hardship is only temporary and focusing on the future when times will (most likely) be better has helped me stay resilient during dark stretches in my life. Conversely, by acknowledging that bad times are only temporary, one must also simultaneously accept that good times may only be temporary as well. While this may seem like a depressing thought, in my life it has actually been motivational and acted as a stark reminder that life is fleeting and to seize the moment – Carpe Diem! The great philosopher Ferris Bueller summed it up perfectly during one of his days off many moons ago… “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
- Take Action. I’ve shared my thoughts on working hard to be successful and I’ve mentioned that when things get tough it’s best to push through & focus on the end-goal, but another thing to remember is that none of this even matters without taking a first step. So many people have lofty ideas & goals, but never even get close to accomplishing them because they’re either too lazy to get started, think they are too busy, or are too afraid of the unknown results. In the FI community, many of us even get caught in analysis paralysis, which means thinking about something over & over & over to come up with a “perfect” solution, while never actually making a decision or doing anything. With my engineering background and natural tendency to want everything to be “perfect”, I’ve fallen into this trap of inactivity so many times in the past that I completely get it. But in order to make anything happen, taking that first step is the catalyst to get the ball rolling.
- Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. In my opinion, this may be the most valuable & most relevant piece of advice because it applies to life in general, not just to personal finance & money. Beginning in elementary school, throughout high school & college, and even continuing into the working world, acceptance by others has always been a big deal. Whether it’s dressing “correctly” or having the “right” haircut to driving a “cool” car or taking “fancy” vacations, all of us have felt pressure to Keep up with the Joneses. Growing up I was totally caught in this trap and I think everyone else would be lying to themselves if they didn’t admit the same thing. But over the ensuing years I’ve become more & more comfortable with tuning out the noise and doing my own thing. This was especially true when it came to my financial journey as my peers were always spending on frivolous items while I was busy sacrificing by saving & investing for early retirement. I’ve learned to do my own thing and not worry about anyone else because nobody actually cares and it’s honestly very narcissistic to even think that way. In fact, I’ve heard that the reason nobody cares about you is because they’re too busy worrying about what others think of them. Whether this was concluded in a formal study or simply passed along anecdotally, I think it’s a great piece of advice to live by and I would 100% ingrain it into the mind of my younger self.
The Squire
Giving my younger self advice would be fun. I’m very fortunate that my family and I are doing well and are happy, so rather than change any major decisions, I would just advise myself to enjoy living life, consider being a little more purposeful with money and health decisions, and start considering the future a little bit earlier. Here are a few specific nuggets that might give my younger self more confidence.
- It’s your life to live. I would tell my younger self to definitely be open to thoughts and advice from others, but don’t feel obligated to do anything others suggest. I have always liked the fact that every person is different, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel pressured to be more like friends, or make similar decisions as others around me. I would remind my younger self that I am in charge of my own life journey, and not to be afraid to make decisions based on what makes sense for me.
- Don’t forget about your health. I was on the more athletic side growing up and through college. Once I got a desk job, I started eating less healthy, consumed more food, and didn’t get as much exercise, gaining weight along the way. I don’t wish that I worked out all day every day, but I probably could have partaken in a few less helpings of food and thrown in a few more walks or runs a week. I loved my independence and my ability to keep to my introverted ways, but it may have done me good to join a gym or a recreational team.
- You have more control over your future than you think. In my twenties I thought that I had so long to live and that I was so young at the time and there was no reason to think about the future. Although I may have been young, I didn’t quite understand how much impact small changes could make decades in the future. Had I had a purpose to save and better understood the potential benefits of investing even a little bit more, I know I could have easily been more purposeful of how I spent my money. I think I would have reached a point sooner in my life where I would have enjoyed my financial journey, had more confidence, and carried less stress in my life.
- Don’t stop taking trips… and consider credit card rewards. I actually still took trips from time to time when I was younger, but always wondered if it was a bad use of money to spend so much of it for a short period of time. The answer has been yes for me. Trips have been well worth it, and I would make that clear to my younger self. Now that I have kids and our lives are in many ways scheduled around the school calendar, planning is a little bit tougher. However, had I understood the kind of deals available by being flexible and with a bit more planning, I could have traveled even more often. If I would have understood and taken advantage of some of the credit card deals available, it would have taken my traveling to another level!
- It’s okay to talk about and learn about investing. I felt like there was something wrong with me when I had questions about how money worked. I would see words that I just didn’t quite understand. I didn’t spend enough time to find the answers, usually out of annoyance and feeling that it may be pointless and probably wasn’t for people like me anyway. Hearing about accounts and investments and not understanding if or how they worked together was irritating. I just couldn’t wrap my head around differences between things like Savings, Checking, CDs, Stock Market, Money Market, Mutual Funds, Stocks, Roth, 401k, Small Cap, Large Cap, and Bonds. I had family and friends that were happy to talk through these and explain and offer resources, but I was determined to figure it all out for myself, because it was just math, right? But then, since I wasn’t wealthy, didn’t make a lot of money, and I didn’t want to gamble my money away, it just seemed that this world of investing wasn’t meant for me. Had I actually listened to others and taken the time to read the books and take action, me and my family would be in an even better financial spot now. Maybe even more importantly, I could have helped spread those resources to others earlier.
Links/Resources
Reader Questions
- What advice would you give your younger self?
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