Celebrating 25 Years of Friendship
Band.
Marching band tryouts to be exact.
That’s where we first met in the fall of 1999 at our local public university. This admittedly sounds 100% nerdy but hey, it’s the truth, and we’re proud of it. What else would you expect from the founders of a personal finance website?
Both of us arrived on campus freshman year, armed with our alto saxophones, hoping to impress the music directors enough to land a coveted spot in the marching band. We were part of a small group of saxophonists that hung out together throughout the day, getting to know each other & providing encouragement. Everyone was cordial, but at the day’s end we all wished each other luck as we left, not knowing what the future held or if we’d even see these same people ever again. (Our school’s enrollment was ~35K students, so this was a real possibility).
Classes started a couple weeks later and lo & behold, we each arrived to freshman English to a familiar sight – Scout & The Squire were reunited! We quickly realized that we had all 3 of our classes together that quarter (as part of a pre-engineering cohort). We got to know each other fairly well over the next couple months, however our paths started to diverge over the next few years. Scout continued to pursue engineering which involved considerable study time. The Squire decided that engineering wasn’t as much fun as he had hoped & required a bit too much study time, so he opted for a Bachelor of Arts degree, choosing to spend more time with band, friends, and a weekend job in retail. We saw each other every-so-often (usually for happy hour or a quick meal) and even lived together temporarily for a couple months, however it felt like we were more acquaintances than good friends during this period.
Surprisingly our friendship actually started to grow stronger after graduation in 2003. We each moved away and started our careers & adult lives – The Squire moved ~1hr north of school while Scout moved to a completely different state. We kept in touch, but weren’t in constant contact. We saw each other once or twice a year (when either The Squire would come to visit or Scout would go back home to see family). Initially it didn’t seem like much changed, but each time we got together the friendship grew since we went beyond just surface-level conversations and delved into more profound topics. Over the years we’ve talked about our relationships & families, health issues, goals & plans in life, and of course personal finance, investing, & eventually Financial Independence.
This isn’t to say that it’s always been smooth sailing – as with any relationship we sometimes have differing opinions or different ways of doing things, mostly based on our personal knowledge & life experiences. However, unlike much of the polarized world we live in today, at the end of the day we have empathy for each other’s situations. Although we may not agree 100% of the time, we still respect each other’s choices, knowing that we’re simply trying to do what we feel is best in our eyes.
So what’s the secret to a strong, lasting friendship? To be honest… who knows for sure? We’re definitely not relationship experts ourselves. We do acknowledge that everyone is different, but here are some observations we’ve made based on our own relationships over the years (completely unscientific of course):
- Commonality – The basic building block of any friendship is having something (ideally LOTS of somethings) in common to form a bond. This could be anything in the world, ranging from a love of the same food, similar taste in music, having the same employer, a shared interest & pursuit of Financial Independence, etc.
- Consistency & availability – Building a skill requires practice & repetition. This is no different when trying to build a relationship. Friendship, especially at the beginning, requires being available for each other in order to build a rapport.
- Relationships can change over time – Just as individuals can change over time, so can friendships. Each of us matures & grows and we’re influenced by our personal life experiences, as well as things we learn along the way. Friendships can evolve in a similar manner based on how each individual changes and also how the dynamic between them changes. We are the perfect examples of going from casual friends to mere acquaintances and now back to close, life-long friends.
- You never know who will end up becoming a friend – Paraphrasing William Butler Yeats, “Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet.” As introverts, we may not identify with this quote as much as others out there, however it doesn’t mean that it’s not true. It’s such a large world out there that we’re bound to find many others just like ourselves. And because of this, there’s no telling when & where these people will show up in our lives. We are perfect examples of this as well… I mean, who meets a close friend at marching band tryouts?… Apparently we do.
- Who we surround ourselves with has a huge influence – Life is difficult, so why go through it alone? Staying in contact with others who are rooting for us & our well-being is important and can help get us through tough times. We can also learn from others, especially those with similar goals, similar habits, and similar lifestyle choices. Keeping these people limited only to family & social media can be fine, but we’ve found that personal interactions outside our everyday bubbles can be very rewarding. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn states it perfectly: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Well, here we are 25 years later and our friendship is as strong as ever. (In fact, one could even argue that we’ve taken it to the next level by starting this website and choosing to work together).
We have so many memories and experiences together that we wouldn’t trade them for the world. It’s definitely been a wild & wonderful ride.
So cheers to 25 years of friendship and here’s to 25 more years to come! We hope that all of you are fortunate enough to have close friends in your life as well.
Links/Resources
Reader Questions
- What are some characteristics you’ve found important in your long-lasting friendships?
- Do you have any close friendships? If so, tell us a little about the relationship you have with your friend(s).
Leave your answers or comments below – or email us directly at info@epicfinancialjourney.com